Sunshine & Sunflowers

Seriously, I was with Del when she found out she made Hollywood Klowns and I was super happy for her! I was like Uhhh She sooo would. Haha Nowhere near jealous!

Del: “Umm wtf.  I can’t message them.  Their mailbox is that full.”

She was super excited! Haha I know the natural feeling of being super happy, despite life circumstances :)

It was father’s day when my daddy had to help me out. Thanks pops, thanks, I love you :)

Feliz Padre’s Dia! lol

I thought I’d take a picture of them while they were sleeping because I thought it was super cute hehehe

They’re going to the the North County fair today. I was going to go with them after work, but they need their time together :)

Thanks pops for saving my ass after that time I was near East Vista way -____-, and the time when I ruined the hub caps on the car and you had to drive to Shedel’s apartment Father’s Day morning to check the car out

-____-

and for giving birth to me, and for giving me your genetics, and you’re fucking hilarious!!!! Namaste Padre <3

Of course, I love you pops! lol (lots of love is what my mom says )

I hung out with my little brother las night <3 Micael MP who was my lab partner in Physiology (and Physics Spring 2012) and he’s just the sweetest thing, and I got his back, I got his back ;)

We were talking about school, and it reminded me of how annoyed I got when these two students were mad hating on Dr. Jeff Ihara.  I think I mentioned some of this before.

Girl: “Really? You’re like the first person I know who likes him.”

Really? All the cool people I know who took him, like him…

She said she thinks he has a speech impediment.

I wanted to say,

“Oh, well I doubt that.  He’s just super intelligent

that he’s busy trying to figure out what words to use

to communicate to lesser intelligence levels.”

I didn’t want to sound harsh, but it’s truth.  He thinks on a more advanced level in comparison to certain types of MiraCosta students.

I, personally, found Bio 202 super intriguing.  I just had trouble studying because I started day dreaming too much haha and went a lil downhill.

I seriously would have gotten an A if I didn’t miss taking some of the quizzes and gave up trying.  

Why?

I lost my marbles when I saw him at Joey’s 21st birthday. LMAO my homies supported me and held me up while I did that hand stand ;) in a long dress. Thanks for looking out loves :)

Joey’s birthday was after the pin up girl photoshoot.

“Umm, I’ve never really done this before…What do I do? Fuck, umm I guess I’ll just laugh and smile.  I don’t know how to do sexy haha.”

I hope I’m not too trusting of people.  I do my best to respect and be honest to others so I would appreciate it mirrored back to me.  Who knows…I hope people won’t work against me, but they will work with me to make this world a better place.  I love this Universe so much.  Life is a gift. Treasure every moment. Smile more, because life is grand and beautiful!

Good thing, because I momentarily misplaced my phone.  I can still go on about my day, thanks to my handy dandy notebook lol

Life is grandular.  I made that word up too.

Last night, a guest was leaving and I said, “hey, nice beard.”

He started laughing so I started laughing haha

I love working at Ruby’s now.  I just need to rely on my homegirls at work to keep the hope alive haha. “Cherry or no cherry?” haha I love working with Viri and Heidi!

Anyway, I need a way to make stable tips, so I tried asking my previous manager if I could be a busser.  I am really strong and I like working hard if it’s worth it.  I’ve been told I have charisma, but I need the fucking money hahahahahhha no worries no worries, I got this shit handled.

Friday I’m fully off from school and work. Thaaaaaannk goodness I can fucking chill hard and get shit done. hell yea

Dude I’m dying laughing right now because I just had a silly ass conversation with Travis. He’s getting so upset at me!

“You’re not the same Svetlanna that I used to know.”

“Thank goodness!”

“No, you’re hurting my feelings.”

SHIT really? Dude not intentional!  I am just glad to be me, and if you have a problem with that, this phone call should end soon

He hangs up… Of course. Without even saying a “bye” or “i love you’ sigh, deal breaker! haha I know, super high standards.

I wanted to rip his clothes off when he picked me up from work the other day, with his tattoos peeping out of his uniform…but I was like naw, not worth losing the one.

“I’m sorry, Travis, I know you hate hearing this but I love you, although, I’m not in love with you.”

Fuck off. hahahaha jk. I don’t need his attorney.  I don’t need him to rescue me. He’s not my hero. I projected that he used me for sex…I used him for sex but it was just aight.  Then it got crazy near the end. Actually really crazy that one time.  I was like fuck this is really weird as fuck but I’m down as long as I could breathe haha.

I did the best I could with the little hours I worked since I devoted my energy toward, school, work, and lying next to him like a fucking zombie.  Instead of using that time to work more hours, I spent my waking life caged in his room because I told my parents “We’re helping each other recover.”  He made me a playlist and I was fucking bawling cuz I hurt him so bad and I didn’t realize how much damage it would cause another human being.  He’s back to his downward spiral but I’m not responsible.  What I did, may have been a trigger.  Fuck. So unintentional.  Damn, I care about Travis so much, but shit, too much for me to handle.  He needs to handle his own shit.

He’s still a sweetie though.  He’s making progress.  Well I don’t know. The one that got away… damn he fucking bent over backwards for her. SUPER GNAR… totally loves her.

My homegirl, Viri (she’s 20 years, just saying homies; she likes white men. Yo tambien… Me gusta un gringo wink wink, me gusta mi clase de Espanol. Anyway…She’s having scandalous men fight for her. DUDE SHE’S SUPER HARDCORE HAHAHAHAHAHA FUCKING HILARIOUS SHIT ), she’ll be playing video games with this boy she met when she was younger.  He has a girlfriend. 7/7 for the homies and homegirls :)

anyway! HAHA!!!

Me: “DUDE YOU KNOW WHAT’S SO FUNNY?”

Viri: “Hmm?”

Me: “THE FUCKING FUNNY ASS SHIT THAT HATERS SAY AND DO!!!!!!!!!! LMFAO!!!!!!! But wow, hmmm they’re pretty creative at painting that perception of me”

Like seriously? WTF are you trying to say? Are you troubled?  Don’t worry, yoga set me free <3

I’m seriously laughing out loud because I’m like, um what kind of a fucking question is that? Haha it’s chill, it’s chill. I just make weird fucking faces since I have nothing else to say.

I’m just being me :)

Love yourself, love the world <3

Yea, it’s a word I made up: Mastermindery.  In my book, ZCK is pictured next to this word.  They all have such techniques, but damn, I love the thrill of surprise.

“I’ll massage your feet.”

UM WTF!!! R U SERIOUS? That’s just too unexpected. Definitely didn’t see that one coming.  My feet were super gnar from being barefoot from dance but he massaged them anyway. Fucking hardcore!

Guess what I also remember? Gorman points to like a wooden stick figurine or something and said, “Elstad made that.”

Haha well played. Applause. I just needed him to fulfill a basic human need, that’s all. I love Mike G., but I’m not in love with him.  He’s just a brother from another mother lol (“Please don’t tarnish my name” haha no worries yo, I got you, I got you)

Damn, before I flipped on the crazy switch of insecurity, Gorman and I had some chill conversations and we went swimming on occasion.  Del and I were like, “mhmm. He could swim alright.” hahahahhahaha

We were talking about swimming when it was just us two on the dance floor talking about how we’d one day be like two wiser ladies catching up with life and fucking laughing our asses off.

We started talking about him because she was texting Mike G., catching up on life and he was chillin with Alex Seib. who is a chill ass kiddo!

AHHHH I remember the day he found out he was expecting!  I WAS LIKE OMG THIS IS THE HAPPIEST PERSON IN THE ENTIRE WORLD HOW FUCKNG INFECTIOUS IS HIS ENERGY!? lol it was super nice to see him so happy :)